Choosing to Make a Difference

Yes

Some go local

Some go express

Some can’t wait

To answer yes

Some complain

Of strain and stress

Their answer may be

No or yes

Some like failure

Some like success

Some like yes yes

Yes Yes Yes

Open your eyes

Dream but don't guess

Your biggest surprise

Comes after yes

-Muriel Rukeyser

From all across the United States and from around the world, we have come together to begin Foxcroft’s 98th year. Different cultures, different languages, different accents, different opinions, different food preferences, different gifts—all our differences are here joined by a powerful common denominator: each of us has chosen to be here; each of us has said “yes.” Choosing and experiencing, however, are very different. The former is somewhat passive; the latter requires focus, commitment, hard work, tolerance, humor, and honor. We can talk the talk; now, we are challenged to walk the walk and to choose to make a difference.

The Foxcroft “talk,” like that in most schools, places a high premium on academic and intellectual fitness and an equal value on physical fitness. Our full schedules do combine the classrooms and the playing fields, but there is more. Our highest value, the glue which holds our residential community together, the life which our founder, Charlotte Haxall Noland, breathed into her vision, our soul, our walk depends upon ethical fitness. Here, “we do unto others, as we would have others do onto us.” Here, we extend a hand. Here, we learn the fine art of agreeing to disagree civilly. Here, we do what is right, not for praise, not for recognition but for our sense of personal integrity. Here, we strive for a wise and understanding heart.” Notice the word “strive” in that last sentence. Foxcroft is not a utopia. All gathered here are human—sometimes we will be very human, but we will dare to exercise ethical fitness in our human interactions, and we expect to apologize when we stray.

A short piece from an airline magazine says it quite well. Entitled “A Short Course in Human Relations,” it speaks to every person here whatever his or her role in the Foxcroft community. It reads:

The six most important words: “I admit I made a mistake.”

The five most important words: “You did a good job.”

The four most important words: “What is your opinion?”

The three most important words: “If you please.”

The two most important words: “Thank you.”

The one most important word: “We”

The least important word: “I”

Lest you that the least important “I” means that you won’t matter, I hasten to confirm that this School’s core value without ethical/academic/physical universe is that each of us is known: no one is anonymous. Being known draws our strengths to the surface and sharing our strengths creates a mighty force. Illustrating the importance of every person and the difference every person can make to the whole is, in my opinion, captured well by a tale of two women on a beach. It goes:

“Good evening, friend

What are you doing?”

“I’m throwing these

Starfish back in the ocean.

If I don’t

They’ll die up here.”

“There must be thousands

Of starfish on this beach.

You can’t possibly

Get to them all.

You can’t possibly make a difference.”

She smiled, picked up

Yet another starfish

And threw it into the sea.

“Made a difference

To that one!”

Occasionally, making a difference carries a heavy price. I am reminded of Lauren Peake, Class of‘’95, who is now a teacher and a mother of two boys. In the spring of her senior year, Lauren, an accomplished tennis player, was playing her last match. She and her opponent were well matched; the game had gone on for well over an hour; darkness was creeping in; a championship rested on the result. The line judge called the ball “out.” Lauren had won. Lauren’s head dropped, and those who were watching thought: “She’s tired and weary, but she won!” Quietly, Lauren walked over to the line judge and said: “The shadows are playing tricks; sir, the ball was in. I knew I couldn’t get to it.” Lauren lost the match.

I had missed that match, but the next day I did get a call from a parent from the opposing team. That parent was overcome by Lauren’s honesty and grace. The parent said “At forty-two, I’m not certain I could have done what Lauren did!” I stifled my immediate thought which was: “You didn’t go to Foxcroft” and went on to thank her for taking the time to pass on good news, for all too often a head’s calls are not that! When I praised Lauren, she said simply: “No big deal, it was ‘in’.” I can’t predict when you and/or I will be starfish on the beach, the walker on the beach and/or the tennis player, but I can expect that whatever and whenever, each of us will choose to make a difference—usually unknown to others.

Last spring, for the 23rd time, I said “yes” to be the head of School; the faculty reiterated “yes” to sharing their individual expertise in this learning/living environment; you students—new and returning—said “yes” to joining or rejoining Foxcroft’s ethical/academic/physical universe; you parents said “yes” to sharing your daughters with the School’s vision; and, the staff said “yes” to facilitating another journey.

We are a small school; nonetheless, combined, well over 675 individuals have recommitted to this shared there-dimensional journey. Together we will be known, and together we will choose to make a difference if each of us embraces the words of John Wesley:

Do all the good you can

By all the means you can

In all the ways you can

In all the places you can

As long as ever you can!

We’re off! Godspeed!